Building quality relationships

“It is teachers who have created positive teacher-student relationships that are more likely to have the above average effects on student achievement.” John Hattie

Earlier this year, at the Positive Schools conferences throughout Australia, Charles Brunzell posed the question, “Is it your job to get your students to like you?”

This is a question with many good answers. In short, when we foster positive connections with our students, they are more likely to feel positive about class and about school in general. They are also more willing to have a go at hard work, to risk making mistakes, and to ask for help when they need it. After all, “kids can’t learn from teachers they don’t like (Rita Pierson).”

Furthermore, social support and positive school relationships provide a buffer in difficult times. These strong social supports are linked to better academic performance (Wentzell & Caldwell 1997), along with adolescent wellbeing and resilience (Cohen & Wills 1985; Stewart et al 2004).

“Students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care (Theodore Roosevelt).” We need to believe our students are capable of succeeding and we must expect them to do so.

So how might we start to foster more positive connections with our students?

  • Be warm (showing care) and demanding (expect them to do well)

  • Have unconditional positive regard and call them out with joy in your voice and heart.

  • Build connections by showing interest; giving eye contact; greeting them at the door (if possible); use their name (everyone’s favourite sound); have an open posture and smile.

  • Have high expectations of students - they need guidance and structure; they can and should behave well; improvement comes from hard work and some students will need more support than others.

“Holding high standards without providing a warm environment is merely harsh. A warm environment without high standards lacks backbone. But if you can create a combination of high standards with a warm and supportive environment it will benefit all students, not just the high achievers.” Lee Jussim

Fostering respectful relationships amongst students

Seligman (2002) states that “relationships are the best antidote to the downs of life, and the single most reliable up.” If children and adolescents feel included and accepted, particularly by a larger peer group, they are more likely to feel positive about themselves (Berndt 1992; Hartup 2002).

In schools, cultivating respectful relationships and connectedness between students is essential. If you’d like to see how we encourage more authentic, positive interactions between your students, you might like to check out our “MATES THAT COUNT” impact session for Secondary Schools, or our “POSITIVE PEERS” incursion for Year 5 or Year 6 students.

Click to find out more about our Primary school incursions our Secondary school incursions or our Teacher Professional Development.