LESSON 4:

BEING ASSERTIVE FOR BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

At times our relationships may feel smooth and perfect, at times we may have moments of disagreement and conflict. The way we respond in these times of conflict can build us and our relationships up, or do the opposite and slowly destroy them. We need to be respectful and assertive in these times, and that is what we are looking at in lesson 2. Follow the instructions below.

Equipment:

  • UPP Workbook and Pen

  • Notebook

Learning Intentions:

  • Students understand the concept of assertiveness

  • Students identify a range of situations in which it is useful to be assertive

  • Students practise techniques for assertiveness in problem solving

ACTIVITY 1 - INTRODUCING ASSERTIVENESS ACTIVITY

TIME: 25+ Minutes

Method:

  1. Put the words aggressive, assertive and passive on the board. Ask the class what they think is meant by these terms.

    • Aggressive: A person expresses their feelings and opinions in a punishing, threatening, demanding or hostile manner. The person stands up for their own rights but the other person’s rights do not matter. It sounds like: ‘This is what I want. What you want is not important!’

    • Assertive: A person expresses their feelings, needs, legitimate rights or opinions without being punishing or threatening to others and without infringing upon their rights. It sounds like: ‘I respect myself and I respect you too.’

    • Passive: A person fails to express their feelings, needs, opinions or preferences, or they may be expressed in an indirect manner. It sounds like: ‘What you want is important; but I am not so don’t worry about me.’

    Reinforce the definitions by demonstrating an aggressive statement (done in an angry style), an assertive statement (done in a strong but respectful style in which your own needs are stated) and a passive statement (where you give in and dismiss your own needs or feelings).

  2. Explain that sometimes when we are trying to solve a problem we need to talk to people in an assertive way. Being assertive is a respectful way of handling conflict.

  3. Applying the concepts to everyday life: ask students to pair share. In what situations are they more likely to be aggressive, passive or assertive? Ask some pairs to share their ideas with the class.

  4. Ask each pair to prepare three freeze frames, one showing the key moment of the aggressive interaction, one showing the assertive mode, and a third showing the passive mode. Set a ground rule that none of the freeze frames (or subsequent role plays) are to include body contact. (This rule helps to control some who may get carried away in their aggressive scene. Where / if further ‘control’ is needed, ask for the aggressive role play to be done in slow motion.) Suggest the following scenario for those who can’t think of one: You just found out that a close friend has told another friend your secret that she/he had promised not to tell. Ask for some volunteers to bring their freeze frames to life. Choose one of each style.

  5. Ask: Which response do you think would give the best results when seeking to solve problems or conflicts? Why?

    Explain that assertiveness is a healthy way of communicating. It is a way of speaking up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful, but still considers the rights of the other person. Assertive statements are useful when there is conflict or a relationship problem to be resolved.

ACTIVITY 2 - video and discussion

TIME: 5 - 10 Minutes

Watch the following video before moving on to Activity 3. After the video, students are to think of one thing they may have learnt, reflected on or connected with throughout the video. Encourage some students to share their reflections with the class.

ACTIVITY 3 - animal behaviours

TIME: 5 Minutes

  • Students are to turn to page 7 in their UPP workbook. Here, students are to connect the animals on the left to the corresponding behaviours in the table on the right.

ACTIVITY 4 - ASSERTIVENESS WHOLE CLASS DISCUSSION

TIME: 5+ Minutes

  1. Once the worksheet is complete, students are to consider why it may be unhealthy for our friendships if we act like a bull or jellyfish. Students are encouraged to share answers in a class discussion format.

  2. Ask students what the benefits are of being assertive. Why may that help us, and our friends, in our relationships moving forward?

  3. Students are to think of one word they would associate with assertiveness. Encourage some students to share their answers with the class.

ACTIVITY 5 - REFLECTION ON LEARNING

  • Review the learning intentions by asking students to comment on what they have learnt.

  • Ask a student volunteer if they can summarise the concept of assertiveness in their own words.

  • Ask which aspect of the learning activity was most useful in helping the class to practise techniques for assertiveness in problem solving.

These resources have been curated from Resilience, Rights and Respectful Relationships Victoria and built for you by Unleashing Personal Potential.