LESSON 3:

How to be Upstanding

We often experience situations where we know something isn’t right but we may not have the tools to be an upstander and respond in a respectful and safe way. No matter who we are or what our previous experiences have been, we can all take action, be upstanding and support others in future. This lesson looks at what it means to be an Upstander and how peer mentors can be upstanding by following the 3D’s of Direct, Distract and Delegate. Please follow the instructions below.

Equipment:

  • UPP Workbook and Pen

  • Notebook

  • Coloured Pencils

Lesson Objectives:

By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:

  • Define the terms “upstander” and “bystander”.

  • Understand how students can be upstanding using the 3D’s – Direct, Distract and Delegate.  

  • Identify the most appropriate way to be upstanding when faced with different scenarios.

ACTIVITY 1 - Human knot

TIME: 5+ Minutes

Method:

Interactive Activity: Human Knot. 

  1. Split the class into two or three even groups (group sizes 5-12, ensure every student’s arms can reach the centre of the circle). 

  2. Students stand shoulder to shoulder in a circle that is small enough so that each student can reach the centre of the circle. 

  3. Each student then places their left hand into the circle and holds the arm of the person opposite them. They must not hold the arm of the person on either side of them. 

  4. Then, all students place their right hand into the circle and hold the arm of a different person who is opposite them in the circle. 

  5. The groups must then work together to untangle the knot, ensuring nobody lets go of the people they are connected with. 

  6. When students can once again stand in a circle, the activity is complete.

Activity Debrief:

This activity demonstrates to students that to successfully untie the knot, every member has to be involved. Since everyone is involved, it is the responsibility of everyone to be an upstander. If the group is unsuccessful during the activity because people standby when poor behaviour is presented, that's the responsibility of everyone, not just the person behaving poorly. It is the same here at your school, in the playground or classroom, or even away from school. If you are present and observe a situation where poor behaviour occurs, then it is your responsibility to be an upstander, even if there are other people around. As a peer mentor, it is important to set a good example to other students, particularly those in younger grades. Being upstanding is a great way to set a positive example to other students.

ACTIVITY 2 - warm-up Discussion:

TIME: 5-10 minutes

Ask students to stand up if they:

  1. Have heard the term “bystander”.

  2. Have heard the term “upstander”.

  3. Can explain what the term bystander means. 

  4. Can explain what the term upstander means. 

  • Write their responses on the whiteboard or in their work booklet and clarify definitions:

    • Bystander: A person who does not act in a situation when something happens that is not right, or when someone needs help. E.g. a person sees someone calling another person names and stands by and watches. 

    • Upstander: A person who sees something that isn’t right, or someone needing help and takes action to do something about it.  E.g. a person who sees someone calling another person names and interrupts the situation by telling the person name calling to stop and that what they are saying isn’t funny. 

Once the discussion has finished, ask students to complete page 7 of their workbook.

activity 3 - Understanding the impact of upstanding

TIME: 10 Minutes

Discussion on Consequences:

  • Ask the students why they believe some people may be bystanders. Example responses may include: 

    • Other people are present, and they will act instead 

    • Not knowing what to do 

    • Not wanting to make the situation worse 

    • Fear the harm may be directed at them

  • Discuss the consequences of inaction as a bystander, such as perpetuating bullying or harmful behaviour.

  • Talk about the positive effects of being an upstander, including fostering a supportive community and improving mental health among peers.

  • Could explain that being an upstander requires both the skill and the confidence to take appropriate action.

Watch the following video before moving on to the next activity:

activity 4 - GROUP ACTIVITY

TIME: 10 minutes

In small groups, ask students to brainstorm and list benefits of being an upstander based on their observations from the previous video on page 8 of their workbook. Ask the students why it is important, as peer mentors, that they are upstanders. Share these with the class.

ACTIVITY 5 - STRATEGIES FOR BEING AN UPSTANDER

TIME: 10 Minutes

Share with students the specific strategies to intervene in a situation safely:

  • Direct: The upstander uses assertive but respectful language to address the behaviour. They take action and interrupt the situation by pointing out the problem, using phrases such as “That’s not funny!” or “What you said (or did) isn’t cool” or “Leave them alone”. The upstander may also show they disapprove through their body language by shaking their head or frowning. The upstander doesn’t join in or laugh.

  Important Note: Share with students it is important that they feel safe and feel that people in the situation are also physically safe. If they are not sure if they are safe, it is better to be upstanding by distracting or delegating.

  • Distract: The upstander interrupts the situation by using distraction. They do not engage with the person causing harm and instead talk to the person who is being upset. The Upstander distracts by talking about something else, instead of continuing the current conversation. For example they may say “Do you know what time it is?” or “Have you seen my bag?” They may also give the person who is upset a reason to leave the situation. “Please can you help me look for my bag?”. Distraction is subtle and just as powerful and can give the peer mentor an opportunity to have a conversation and help the student, if appropriate.

  • Delegate: Walk to a safe zone and tell an adult you trust who can intervene. If possible, the upstander may go with the person who has been upset and report it together. Peer mentors being upstanding in this way can help the person, such as a younger student, to feel supported.  

activity 7 - Identifying Situations for Action

TIME: 15 minutes

Students are now ready to complete scenario analysis, applying what they have learned so far to a variety of different situations.

  1. Working with a partner, complete the table on page 9 of your workbook. Read the different scenarios where someone is being bullied, excluded, or treated unfairly (e.g., cyberbullying, peer pressure, mean behaviour) and decide the best way to be upstanding, using the 3D’s. Once complete, share with another peer mentor which response you chose and why. 

    Teacher note: This could also be completed as a card sorting activity. 

  2. Read the different scenarios where someone is being bullied, excluded, or treated unfairly (e.g., cyberbullying, in-person mean behaviour/bullying) and decide the best way to be upstanding, using the 3D’s. Once complete, students can share with a partner which response they chose and why. 

Answers for scenario analysis:

Teacher note: Some students may feel more confident than others to respond in a direct way. Those who are less confident may choose to be upstanding by distracting or delegating. Below is a list of most appropriate answers for each scenario, taking varying levels of student confidence into account.  

  1. Delegate 

  2. Direct or delegate 

  3. Direct or delegate 

  4. Direct or distract 

  5. Direct or distract 

  6. Delegate 

  7. Distract or delegate 

  8. Delegate 

  9. Direct/ distract /delegate

  10. Direct 

  11. Direct, distract or delegate 

  12. Direct or delegate 

ACTIVITY 8 - REflection and wrap up

TIME: 10 Minutes

Reflection:

    • Ask the students to complete the reflection questions on page 10 of their workbook.

    • When complete, ask students to share their answers with a partner. 

Conclusion:

    • Summarise the key points of the lesson, reinforcing the importance of taking action as upstanders. Encourage students to commit to one action they can take to be an upstander in their school community.

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